What is the right gift for a bar or bat mitzvah? The most common gift is money, usually given in multiples of 18, and the most meaningful item gifts are Judaica the young person will use for years, such as a tallit, a kiddush cup, a mezuzah or a piece of Jewish jewelry.
A bar mitzvah marks the age when a Jewish boy becomes responsible for the commandments, which is 13. A bat mitzvah marks the same milestone for a girl, at 12 in Orthodox communities and often at 13 in Reform and Conservative communities.
This guide explains the customs and gives real price ranges from The Israel Store so you can plan your budget.
Why do people give bar mitzvah money in multiples of 18?
The Hebrew word chai means life. It is spelled with the letters chet and yud, whose numerical values are 8 and 10, so the word adds up to 18.
Giving $36, $54, $72, $180 or any other multiple of 18 is a way of wishing the young person a good life. A gift of $36 is often called double chai.
Many families also expect the bar or bat mitzvah to give a portion of the money to charity, which is called tzedakah.
What are meaningful bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah gifts?
An item gift works best when it connects to the new responsibilities the young person is taking on. These categories are the most common.
- Tallit (prayer shawl): In Sephardi communities boys usually begin wearing a tallit at bar mitzvah age or earlier. In most Ashkenazi communities men begin after marriage, although many Ashkenazi boys in non Orthodox communities receive one for their bar mitzvah. Ask the family first.
- Tefillin: A boy begins putting on tefillin around his bar mitzvah, and in many Ashkenazi communities a few weeks before it. Tefillin must be written by a qualified scribe, so families usually buy them through their rabbi.
- Kiddush cup: A cup for the blessing over wine on Shabbat and holidays, often used for a lifetime.
- Jewish jewelry: A Star of David, Shema Yisrael or Chai pendant is a popular bat mitzvah gift and works for boys as well.
- Watch: A quality watch is a traditional coming of age gift in many families.
- Mezuzah: A mezuzah case for the young person's bedroom door. A kosher parchment scroll is bought separately from a certified scribe.
- Books: A personal siddur (prayer book), a Chumash or a Jewish history book that the reader can grow into.
How much should I spend on a bar or bat mitzvah gift?
Spend what fits your relationship to the family. Close relatives usually give more than friends. These ranges use real prices from The Israel Store.
- Under $40: a linen kippah, a mezuzah case or a stainless steel Jewish necklace.
- $50 to $150: an acrylic or wool tallit made in Israel, or a silver plated kiddush cup.
- Premium: a watch handmade in Israel at $629.99.
Which bar and bat mitzvah gifts from Israel can I buy online?
These are active products, with details taken from each listing.
- White and Gold 100 percent Wool Tallit from Israel, $129. Made in Israel by Talitnia, a tallit maker founded in 1898. It measures 130 x 180 cm and includes tzitzit and an embroidered atarah with the blessing. A fit for a bar mitzvah boy whose family wears a tallit from that age.
- White Acrylic Tallit from Israel, $59.99. Also made by Talitnia, lightweight and easy to care for, with tzitzit on all four corners. A fit for a smaller budget.
- Silver Plated Kiddush Cup with Star of David design, $129. Decorated with Jerusalem scenes and Star of David details. A fit for a young person who will lead Kiddush at home.
- Shema Yisrael stainless steel necklace, $39.99. A round pendant with the Shema in Hebrew on a 45 cm chain with a 5 cm extension. A fit for a bat mitzvah girl or a bar mitzvah boy.
- Star of David Heritage Premium Watch, $629.99. Handmade in Israel with a Japanese Miyota 9015 automatic movement, a 37 mm 316L stainless steel case, sapphire crystal and a genuine leather strap. A fit for a close relative's once in a lifetime gift.
- Blue Linen Kippah with the Priestly Blessing, $14.99. A 19 cm natural linen kippah embroidered with the Hebrew words of Numbers 6:24. A fit for a guest gift or a personal touch beside a money gift.
For a mezuzah case, the Torah scroll design Mezuzah with Shema Yisrael is made of metal, measures 11.5 x 4.5 cm and costs $11.50. The listing describes the case only, so plan to buy a kosher scroll separately.
When should I order a bar mitzvah gift from Israel?
Order at least three to four weeks before the celebration if you live outside Israel. The Israel Store processes orders in 1 to 3 business days. US delivery usually takes 5 to 10 business days, and international delivery takes 7 to 21 business days. Returns are accepted within 30 days.
If you are giving a tallit, our guide on how to wear a tallit properly is a useful page to share with the young person.
Frequently Asked Questions
How much money do you give for a bar mitzvah?
Most guests give a multiple of 18, such as $36, $54, $72 or $180. The amount depends on your relationship to the family and the local custom.
Why is 18 a special number in Judaism?
The Hebrew letters of chai, meaning life, have the numerical values 8 and 10, which add up to 18. A gift in multiples of 18 is a wish for life.
Is a tallit a good bar mitzvah gift?
Yes, in families where boys wear a tallit from bar mitzvah age, which includes most Sephardi families. In many Ashkenazi Orthodox families a tallit is given at marriage, so ask the parents first.
What is a good bat mitzvah gift from Israel?
Jewish jewelry is the most popular choice. A Star of David, Shema Yisrael or Ahava necklace is personal and suits daily wear.
Can I give a gift and money together?
Yes. Many guests give a small item, such as a kippah or a necklace, together with a card holding a money gift in a multiple of 18.
Shop bar and bat mitzvah gifts
A gift tied to Jewish life will be used long after the party ends. Browse the full Judaica gift collection, compare prayer shawls in the tallit collection made in Israel, see pendants in the Jewish jewelry collection and view handmade timepieces in the watches collection.
